If the place you choose to shop at says something about you as a person, then we surely hope that what you have to say is something worth listening to. Walmart has been a source of much entertainment over the years and we thought it would be great to put together this list of pics for you to enjoy with us. Prepare yourself for some of the most bizarre and downright freaky individuals in America!
From top to toe and nearly every inch covered in some decoration, so obviously looking fabulous and ready for the Burning Man Festival, this couple is unmissable. Well, we hope that they are headed for a wild festival, and that this is not their daily dressing style. Putting together all those ornaments and ornate pieces must have taken years of ‘adventuring’ to put together. Wherever they are headed, they look fabulous. And those legs! We mean him though, wow!
Breakfast Is The Most Important Meal Of The Day
Picking up your breakfast cereal just gotten interesting… This is the kind of scene that is straight out of a teen comedy, where the wimpy protagonist suddenly stumbles into the woman of his dreams. Time slows down, they lock eyes, and the young man begins sweating profusely. We doubt that this babe will be asking anyone for help reaching her favorite cereal on the higher shelf. We also doubt that she eats sugary cereal regularly…
Only at Walmart will you find people who are in so much of a hurry, they can’t even be bothered to wait in line for a changing room. This old lady decided years ago that changerooms were a violation of her personal human rights, and that she was entitled to try on new clothes wherever she likes. There are definitely hundreds of people that have been deeply scarred when they unwittingly almost walked into Gollum from the Lord of the Rings trying some new sweatpants on.
Dress For The Occasion
You can never know where life will lead you to, so better be dress and ready for it! This woman’s platform heels may seem ridiculous and showy to some, but they actually serve an essential purpose. Rather than constantly relying on strangers to help her fetch items down from the higher shelves, she ensured that she came with her own height advantage. That enormous flower is a nice touch, completing the attention-stealing look with pizazz.
Though we have a strange kind of respect for the effort it has taken this dude to grow that seriously impressive dreadlock, we can’t help but notice how accurately it resembles a tangled, cloggy mess of hair pulled out of a shower drain. Not very appealing. The way that it neatly tucks in between her legs is enough to make anyone nauseous. We live in a free country, but sometimes you want to have someone arrested, shaved, and washed.
Eat More Veggies!
Don’t forget to load up on the vegetable aisle, this woman seems to do it in style… This lady brought her own melons to the fruit section to compare quality. There are only a few ways to develop a body this incredible, and that is through a lifetime of eating your fruits and vegetables. Just look at her guns! This lady is not messing around when it comes to nutrition, and we would love to copy her shopping cart’s selection.
If you take a moment to observe this picture, you may notice how deeply the American colors are ingrained in its citizens. These two, perhaps subconsciously, have created a match of blue, red and white just like the flag. This photo could easily have been taken on the 4th of July, and these young ladies are going all out to support their nation. The lady on the right was even patriotic enough to sit in the sun the whole day to get that perfect red tone.
Getting To The Top Shelf
This lady probably got tired of not getting to the top shelves and decided to act! Similar to one of our previous entries, this lady took matters into her own hands by going for an even higher set of heels that will make even the tallest shelves a breeze to access. We just hope that she does not end up falling over, as it takes a truly acrobatic talent to get around in shoes that insane.
Jackson In Line
After sifting through the nearly endless Micheal Jackson puns applicable here, we decided to go with none. Though we would hazard a guess about that look on his face, tells us he’s wishing he was where Micheal is now, instead of shopping. This blonde admirer was so excited to meet who she might believe is the real Michael Jackson that even her booty came out to have a look. Michael seems to be getting directions from this lady, hopefully for the exit.
The Man Fox
We’re not going to ask him what the fox said, but we really do want to… There is a certain sub-culture in America (and in the world) that involves fully-grown human beings dressing up like anthropomorphic animals. It is a severely cringe-worthy hobby – or shall we say lifestyle. We sincerely hope that this man is not part of this group, and is just trying to be funny or cute. Either way, the tail is an incredible conversation starter.
Naturally Picking My Breakfast Granola
Her boots are trying to cover up what her jeans have missed, and somehow failing considerably. All eyes were definitely on this muscular and curvaceous woman when she stepped into Walmart looking like she just returned from a fitness competition. Seeing as she does not have a shopping cart, or even a basket, we cannot help but think that she had ulterior motives… This is one seriously jacked woman, so we would hesitate to question her sincerity.
Ladies In Pink
Best Mother-Daughter moment you’ll ever see! We love seeing mothers who take time and effort to coordinate with their babies, and isn’t this little girl just the sweetest? She seems to be trying to signal her mother’s attention to the uninvited photography happening, but mommy is unfortunately too invested in which soft drink to purchase. As for Momma Bear, we adore her sensational curves and sense of fashion. We cannot help but feel like she prefers strawberry-flavored soda.
Selfie On The Bread Aisle
What better place to take a selfie while shopping around and looking for groceries than in the bread aisle? Carbs are life! They say that bread is the staff of life, but for some people, selfies are a daily necessity too. Some people just cannot live without taking vane snaps of themselves, even in the most bizarre or uninteresting situations. Alright, let us not be too harsh, maybe she was just trying to ask her boyfriend which type of bread he wanted and happened to show off her bangs at the same time.
Lizzy The Living Hair Accessory
I was going to go over and introduce myself. I had never felt this nervous before, what would I say. Then I accepted the truth, she was a lizard and she was already catching a ride on another lady’s head. Some people cannot go anywhere without their pets, and while most people expect that to mean cats and dogs, some people prefer scales over fur. Lizards must be incredible companions, friendly and tame enough to take with you shopping.
A moment to remember; snap a photo on the chocolate aisle… That look that she gives you when she reaches for the chocolate almonds is unforgettable, and lets you know that she will never love you more than chocolate coated nuts. We are not going to criticize her for preferring candy nuts over human affection. They are incredibly addictive, and unlike people, will never stop being sweet. Let it be known that chocolate almonds are far superior to boyfriends!
A sort of public transport system is available for use at Walmart. These motorized little carts can link together and drive around together like on a bus. Or maybe more like a train. These good people are going on a thrilling tour of their local Walmart. We really hope that the granny leading the convoy is a competent driver, as one wrong turn could take out several shelves. We live in a very strange world, and it does not get more bizarre than this.
Mom’s Turn To Relax
Remember, guys, when you were ten years old and a show of protective strength was quite the right thing to do? And who are the people who were kind of obligated to encourage you? Your mom and sister, of course. This is a hilarious switch up of the usual scene, where a mom happily pushes her child around in the cart. This lady seems to have had enough of motherly slavery, and now the shoe is on the other foot.
Definitely Not The Real Deal
More often than not, acting confident can sell almost anything. That way some people can just make the thing work, it’s like magic. The untrained eye may not notice the home-made label immediately, cause she wears them like the real thing. A popular philosophy for modern times is that you can achieve anything that you want if you outline exactly what you want visibly. Hopefully, this method will work and this lady will get her uggs one day…
There will be no time to monkey around, not when mum’s got such a good hold on this one. We’re sure little mister would go bananas in the fruit aisle. If you thought that taking a lizard out shopping was strange, a monkey might be a good contender for the weirdest animal to take to Walmart award. Let’s hope that this woman stopped by the fruit section and bought her little sleepy chimp some bananas.
We’re not sure what to call this outfit, it’s not a kilt, nor a dress. Whatever it is, the only words we could make out among the muttering was ‘trendsetter’ and we’re sure it is a trend in a prison somewhere. Gangster culture puts an emphasis in wearing your pants as low as possible to show how little regard you have for society’s rules. We are quite sure that no gangster would ever want to literally be caught with their pants down, however.
Miracles Do Happen
Walmart may want to change their slogan to, “If you really want it, you will reach it.” Placing the high demand items on the top shelf has “healed” many who could once only ride the carts. We are sorry to tell you, lady, that if you can stand up for your favorite brand of canned hotdogs then you might want to reconsider how much you rely on your cart. Leave them for those who actually need them, lazy bones!
Not So Stylish
As the old adage goes, flaunt it while you’ve got it, but we’re sorry to say you don’t have much anymore, mate. The bit you have chosen to keep, makes the rest look a little sadder. Going bald is a crisis for many men, leading them down some very dark roads. This guy, however, combined what little hair he has left on his head, with the body hair that grows on his neck. A particularly revolting fusion!
Party At The Front – Fitness At The Back
It’s not easy growing up, especially when you find those perfect shoes and don’t want to give them up. So, you modify the thing you love to stay with you for longer. Why waste money on new shoes when you could easily edit the ones you have already? This is the kind of ingenuity that will get a person through any crisis, financial or environmental. This woman is the MacGyver of footwear and there is clearly no clothing problem that she cannot fix.
Aisle 5 Dog Sale?
We went and checked, the answer is no, they don’t sell cute little doggies in aisle 5 at Walmart, but they do need a clean up for the dog poo. Some people cannot spend even an hour without their beloved doggies, and you can bet that this lady will always take her pooches with her, from the shops to doctor’s appointments and more. These dogs are so cute, we would feel terrible having to ask them to leave the premises.
He thought it would be great fun to go to the dress-up party as a jester and it was fine that mom had to drive him there, but now she’s just taking cheap shots at him by making him stand around with her in the Walmart first. This jester’s slumped and sulky posture is rather unbefitting for the career that he has chosen. If he does not improve his mood, he will be sent to the Walmart dungeons.
Matt The Meat Man
Meet Meat Matt, he took something a couple of hours ago that didn’t agree with his state of mind and is now firmly within his own belief that he is a lamb shank and should be stored correctly. Or maybe Matt is trying to hide from a pursuer. He thought, “I am made of meat, and would surely camouflage in more of the stuff!” Some people just cannot be helped. Security sure had their hands full trying to wrestle this individual out of the ribs and chops.
Mom said that if you want to keep this tortoise, you have to take it for a walk at least once a week. Walmart is obviously the best kind of park to take a stroll with your tortoise. Given how slowly tortoises move, this shopping trip must have taken the whole day to complete. Unless its owner started dragging it along. That would be incredibly inhumane. Who even takes tortoises for walks to Walmart, anyway? It is certainly an unideal environment for such a tiny and sensitive creature.
The Ice Cream Is Alive
That cannot be a person under those clothes, surely that is the Pillsbury doughboy who’s in some serious need of being baked. Or a badly packaged ice cream cake. This lady might want to spend a bit more time in the clothes section, perhaps with a compassionate and experienced assistant that will happily guide her through a makeover of note. Some people seem to have given up on trying to impress those around them, however, and we must respect that.
There was no sign on the door specifically denying ferrets from entering, and neither did it say anything about bad Beatles haircuts. Why the motorized cart though, to keep on hand on the ferret? The people around this bizarre sight are doing their best to keep their eyes fixed firmly ahead. Or, maybe, they are so used to seeing strange people like this that they are unfazed by anything but the most extreme of appearances.
The Rainbow Lady
We’re not sure what the occasion was for this young lady, and very confused about the strap-on caterpillar on her leg. One thing is certain, she is embracing the rainbow. She also seems to be in her personal idea of heaven, given that this aisle is bursting with all manner of girly goodies and accessories. They say that you should never lose your inner child, but this lady seems to have taken that bit of advice too far.
We’re gonna take a stab in the dark here and say that this is his response to the blatant disrespect of getting hit by a car somewhere. This lady obviously suffered her fair share of nasty pedestrian accidents. Some people drive so badly, we cannot fault this lady for becoming a walking roadsign, even if it is rather unconventional. We would caution anyone against bumping into this lady on the road, she seems to be the type that will hunt you down to the ends of the world.
Young And Wild
“I’m telling you, Fred, the kids sent these clothes, said they’re very fashionable a.t.m” “Sure,” said Fred, “but I’m not so sure we have it on the right way around.” What looks like a discount Larry David is merrily going about his shopping business in what must be his wife’s booty shorts and leggings. She does not seem to mind, however, and loves him for who he is. Everyone deserves a partner like this, who will stand by you no matter how embarrassing you are.
Captain America Shops Too
What is ol’ Cap supposed to do when all his cards have been rejected. Don’t they know he’s a superhero, don’t they know what he’s done for them all? He just wants to rewatch his favorite Marvel films, but it seems like S.H.I.E.L.D. forgot to top up his allowance. How is Captain America supposed to defend us from evil if he cannot even enjoy some innocent recreation?! Just give him his DVDs, man! Godspeed, discount Captain America.
It’s not often you get a guy willing to clean the floors of a Walmart with nothing on but his underwear. Then he reckoned he could do this job with his hands tied behind his back, some observing cops felt obliged to assist. They all seem to be quite happy to leave this nude individual face-down, sharing a good laugh. Serving and protecting is a stressful and demanding job, so you need to find any opportunity to blow off some steam.
Opening a new bank account at Walmart is not everyone’s idea of the first thing you do after your wedding. Or maybe she liked the veil so much, she’s wearing it for a week. Either way, we cannot help but think that this couple’s main reason for tying the knot was to access the financial benefits of marriage, seeing as they could not wait to drive down to their nearest Walmart straight after saying ‘I do.’
Age Improves Wisdom
We’re not sure what the full story is here, but we do know that plastic bag warnings have been around for as long as plastic bags have been. Maybe this granny is not yet wise. This is the kind of situation where you wish the photographer was more concerned about the child’s safety rather than how many likes his snap will get on Facebook. Have some humanity, for goodness’ sake! That, or call Child Protection Services.
While some might find this a little creepy, we can’t help but think of how much effort this guy went through to spread some joy. This man only ever makes an appearance once a year, on his Lord and Savior’s resurrection, where he loves to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ by adorning himself with brightly colored eggs. Children seem to love this elderly gentleman, and if it brings them joy, then we have nothing bad to say about him!
People don’t seem to consider that babies are far more susceptible to infections. Every second stranger comes past and goes “oh what a cute baby!” then touches them. This mom got tired of telling people, so she decided to hang a sign from her pram. The last thing that you want your baby’s sensitive immune system being interfered with is a random person’s grubby fingers. We should normalize wearing signs with our personal needs written on them.
Half ‘n Half
While we’re not going to comment on what kind of fashion statement this might be, we would like to take a moment to say that those must be impossible to get your feet through. This person might have been attacked by a tiger on their way to Walmart, or got too close to the butchery’s meatgrinder. This person knows how to shop for clothes the smart way, seeing as these incredible jeans were 50% off!
This guy would make the scariest teacher in the world, or worse yet, most terrifying principal. I’ve always got an eye on you, has a whole new meaning now. Mr. Baldy has taken the saying, ‘eyes in the back of my head’ to the next level. He could also be intensely spiritual, taking the whole ‘third eye’ thing to the next level. Instead of facing out his forehead, this burly gentleman’s one looks out the back of his head.
Could Bee A Prank…
Now, this is a site where the roles are usually reversed. Kid at the toy machine, parents impatiently waiting. We theorize that the parents might be trying to pull a mean prank on the kid, but we’re pretty sure he doesn’t really get it. Wonder if they caught anything with that stupid claw? Having gamers for parents is a real hassle. Any game that they walk past is sure to steal their attention. Someone could easily snatch that kid and the parents would not even notice, that is how invested they are.
There might have been a time when this was totally acceptable attire, heck, the right person could make that look good nowadays. We’re sorry-not-sorry to say that this guy would have been out of place even back in the eighties. There is just a bit too much thigh on display here for us to feel comfortable. This man needs to learn how to dress appropriately when out in public, but we certainly are not going to tell him so.
We’re trying to forget that plunging people with plungers was ever a popular thing, but we can’t. We would also not be surprised to find out that it got its start in a Walmart somewhere. This madman is on the loose in Walmart, attacking people with an endless supply of plungers. While toilet humor is incredibly hit-and-miss, taking it to a literal level is unadvisable. Perhaps the man pictured on the right just wanted to pretend to be a unicorn…
Grand Fashion Statement
We’re not sure what happened here, he lost a nasty bet perhaps? Or maybe when granny invited him from the Arctic to visit her in Miami, he didn’t bother to bring summer clothing and this is what was left of Susie’s things… Granny insisted he wears something light and breezy. Still doesn’t explain those heels. You should always let your individuality shine through, and no one will help you do that better than your grandmother, especially when you are forced to move in with her after your dad kicks you out.
We get the feeling that this guy, judging by that gut, was tired of waiting for a cashier and decided to take a moment on the bench. It must have been a very comfortable bench, he seems to have fallen asleep and has missed all the cashiers. He seems to be dangerously close to toppling over, however, and this is a balancing act that bends the laws of physics and gravity. Walmart really needs to start building nap stations.
Not So Yum Yum
It did look like giant ice cream there for a moment, didn’t it, maybe custard flavored. It is, however, a giant Walmart shopper taking a nap after a strenuous walk through the endless aisles of food. Given how well this man’s hood covers his head, we can be sure that he frequently fits naps in wherever he goes. That nap station really needs some strong consideration, as sleepy individuals are completely vulnerable whenever they check out.
Superhero In The Parking Lot
Are the parking lots at Walmart so hazardous that they employ knock-off superheroes to guard the people entering and leaving. Yeah, we said knock-off, that guy is clearly not Spiderman. The way that he is banging his fists together menacingly, that threateningly care-free pose… whoever leaves Walmart better have their receipts ready, as this shady superhero will want to make sure that you have not stolen anything. Bless his spandex-covered heart. We need more people like this upholding justice.
You Can’t See Me
There are only two ways of ending up in this state. One, involves a bloody hammer someone put back on the shelf, or two, Derick just had too much to drink last night and now Derick desperately needs a nap. Sometimes you cannot wait to get home, or even to a bench. When your tank runs out, any stable surface will do. Derick, we really hope that you get your narcolepsy diagnosed as soon as possible.
Wolverine’s Other Half
Now either she’s seriously channeling her inner Wolverine, or she’s hiding a serious set of demon horns under there. Don’t matter, a girl’s gotta shop. This is the kind of feral chic that we would love to see more of in the world. This lady really does seem to have some wolf in her, or she at least is wearing one’s pelt. We cannot rationalize how anyone could get hair like this in any other way.
Time After Time
If this girl is aiming to grow the longest hair in the world, she might be well on her way, and it looks like she might be keeping a measurement there with those colorful elastics. We’re wondering if she can use it like a whip, like in the Kung Fu movies. She must clear out the hair care aisle regularly, as taking care of that much hair must need gallons of product. At least she is sweeping the floor as she goes.
In His Element
As my granny used to say, “Well now that is certainly going to be a different sort of Scottish affair, that one will.” It’s like he’s got a best-of-both-worlds kind of thing going there. Dennis here seems totally in his element. To get around the breezy nature of traditional Scottish wear, this gentleman decided to protect his sensitive areas with a shocking pink pair of stockings. Anyone who was ever curious about what Scots wear under their kilts, take heed!
Can’t say much here that we’ll get away with, so we’ll just tell you this. This stunning lady was going to a 60+ beauty pageant and ran out of glitter. No glitter, no show! Besides the obvious overstatements, she looks amazing for 60! Perhaps this dame is hanging on to her former fame as the assistant to a gameshow host. You certainly do not want to win any of the prizes she has in store for whatever unlucky contestant she gets her claws on.
Now, this lady clearly loves the color blue, and she would probably dye her skin if she could find a healthy body paint. We know this because everything she touches seems to have turned blue. Or is that just a coincidence? We love The Smurfs just as much as anyone else, so you can imagine how exciting we were when we spotted an elderly Smurfette in real life! She seems to be suffering from back problems, poor thing, won’t some kind stranger please give her a massage?
Feeling The Love
Going around dressed as Cupid on Valentine’s day is, well, kinda sweet. But when Larry was doing it for Halloween, no one but Larry thought it was funny. Larry has always been irritatingly committed to playing matchmaker, with this sloppy Cupid costume being a natural extension of his true self. Whenever Larry spots two strangers walking past each other, he never fails to fire his arrows at them, leading to an instant and powerful connection.
What are you going to do when you suddenly remember that the hairdresser doing your hair only takes cash and you have none on you. This lady decided to prove she’s not a runner by going midway through the do. She looks like the kind of woman who loves banging her lazy husband on the head with a rolling pin whenever he sits down to watch television. We can keep being smart, but that is not going to stop her fabulous curls from forming!
While this is a fairly common site in some places, like Africa, it definitely makes you stop and wonder, how important were those items she needed so urgently. Like the woman pictured above, this lady does not let the distractions of modern living stop her from doing her thing. It seems like the cucumber slices fell off her eyes at some stage, probably while she was driving to her local Walmart. Enjoy your apples, lady!
You’re never as confident as when you wear something that makes you feel powerful. Our only issue with this photo is that his shoes don’t match, but they seem orthopedic so we won’t judge too much. With age comes sophistication, and this person is way ahead of their time. In the year 2049, people will see this picture and be amazed at how this man managed to capture the future’s chic. Keep being yourself, old man, and do not let anyone get in your way!